If You Can’t Do it Right, Don’t Do it At All! 15 Film and TV Remakes That Should Never Have Been (Re)Made

For every successful TV or film remake there are about 5 failures. Why does Hollywood need to create so many remakes anyway? Are they that desperate for material? Have they really run out of good ideas? If you go by this list it would seem the answer to those questions is YES!  If they can't do the remake right, they shouldn't do it at all.

Check out these 15 TV and Film Remakes that should never have been made...  

Charlie's Angels

Charlie's Angels

Three hot chicks fighting crime for a secret boss named Charlie...where have we seen this before? Oh, yeah, the original Charlie’s Angels. Aside from an updated, s*xed-up wardrobe and a modern setting, the TV show remake in 2011 really had nothing new to offer to this tired concept. The girls had none of the spunk, edge, or innocence of the original. They should have left the remake to the movies.

 Knight Rider

Knight Rider

Fans were pretty PO’ed with the new Knight Rider. The show had none of the same intelligence or humor. The acting was poor, the writing was dull, and perhaps the biggest offense to fans: KITT was an entirely different car. All this resulted in the show being cancelled after one season. People just don’t take kindly to their memories being rode all over.

Charlie and The Chocolate Factory

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Oh, we wanted to love this one so much. Johnny Depp is one of the greatest actors of his time, and Tim Burton has such a talent for creating fantastical landscapes but this modern take on a classic had none of the charm, intrigue, or humanity of the original. Gene Wilder’s Wonka was so mysterious and clever, Depp’s timid nut- job Wonka pales in comparison.

 

90210

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 Beverly Hills 90210 was a Grade A, prime television show about the lives of troubled rich teens. The modern day remake/follow-up 90210 is a bland attempt to resurrect the magic that died with the original show, only with less compelling characters played by less than memorable actors. Still, young teens today find it interesting enough to watch scandalous rich teen problems. The show is entering its 5th season albeit with increasingly low ratings.

Melrose Place

Melrose-Place

Melrose Place was a classic 90’s show that couldn’t be missed. It was the kind of show you planned your day around, and failing that, the type of show you made sure to tape on your VCR. It was melodramatic, it was outlandish, it was completely soap operatic, completely suspenseful, and completely enthralling. The new Melrose place was cancelled after one season. Suffice it to say it was none of the above and no one was interested in seeing their 90’s memories tainted.

 

The Bionic Woman

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The remake was nothing like the original. It was faulted for being too dark, too angry, and for having an over emphasis on “fembot martial arts and matrix-ish effects” while lacking in the character development department. The show was cancelled after 8 episodes.

 

The Day the Earth Stood Still

The Day the Earth Stood Still

For all the interesting visual effects, the film was lackluster with a plot that seemed incoherent at times.

The Green Hornet

The Green Hornet

Another film remake we so desperately wanted to love. As a movie adaptation of the TV show that put Bruce Lee on the map; the excitement was rife!  Sadly, the film did not live up to expectations. Seth Rogen’s "Britt Reid" was annoyingly and unrealistically juvenile while the plot meandered, and the comedy mostly failed to illicit the laughs that were intended. The only bright spot was Jay Chou as Kato whose serious and mysterious cool helped to balance out Rogen’s buffoonery, and whose awesome butt-kicking skills gave the audience a semblance of what they paid for: Bruce Lee.

Conan The Barbarian

Conan The Barbarian

It’s general opinion that remakes should not be made unless they can improve upon or at least live up to the original. That was not the case with Conan the Barbarian. This sort of film was better left in the 80’s in the first place but when the powers-that-be decided to bring it into the 21st  they did so with bad acting, weak plot, poor writing, and one-dimensional characters.

The Three Stooges

The three stooges

The Three Stooges was a classic comedy act that appeared as childhood memories for generations some 40 years after the heyday of the show’s existence. Moe, Larry, and Curly's slapstick brand of comedy was very much a product of its time, so plucking those characters out of their era to place them in a modern setting just seemed like a desperate attempt to make them relevant in a time when nobody was looking for that. It’s uncomfortable to watch and couldn’t possibly have garnered the laughs it did 50 years ago.

 

Dukes of Hazzard

Dukes of Hazzard

This remake was a commercial success--obviously due to the nostalgia of the original audience-- but it was panned critically for being mediocre. The comedy was, to many viewers, less than comedic, and the plot line was a series of car chases punctuated by shots of Jessica Simpson strutting in her daisy duke shorts. Fans of the show probably would have been content with watching reruns of the original on TV Land, but Hollywood just had to do a bad remake.

The Fog

The Fog

Even John Carpenter, who wrote and directed the original, admitted that the first one was not his favorite film, so why the studios would endeavor to green-light a remake, especially with just 18 pages of script is a mystery. The 2005 version has been generally panned for a poor script (shocker!), terrible acting, and a lack of genuine scares. Too bad Carpenter decided to produce this one, too. His hopes of redeeming himself from the first one were definitely overtaken in the fog.

Fame

FAME

The 80's musical film that was believable with real high school kids who had real problems was brought back in 2009 as an after-school special awash in High School Musical badness. The characters were incomplete, the acting was poor, and the film editing just did not gel.

A Nightmare on Elm Street

A Nightmare on Elm Street

With all the films in this franchise over the years, was anybody really longing for a remake of the original? Like we haven’t seen a million Freddy Krueger films since then. The first problem with this version is that Robert Englund wasn’t Freddy. How can that be when Robert Englund IS Freddy? If they couldn’t get Englund, they shouldn’t have made the film. The rest of the issues lie in the film’s dark tone yet lack of scare and the lack of humor apparent in the original.

Miami Vice

Miami Vice

The Miami Vice television show was full of 80's awesomeness. It was humorous, exciting, and fun. The 2006 film adaptation was less than interesting, and by far the most memorable thing about the film was Collin Farrell's ridiculous Ron Jeremy mustache.

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Comments

  • T_Rocka1975

    The only one that I disagree with is Miami Vice, I really liked the remake!!

    • Shaksmac

      The remake def has it’s audience. Like most things there are those who love it and those who hate it. I fall somewhere in the middle. Thanks for dropping by!

  • Brody

    I loved the Charlie and the Cocolate Factory way more than the original…