Ridiculous Reboots: 15 Movie Do-Overs We Can’t Believe Hollywood Is Undertaking

The Bodyguard PF WENN

Photo: WENN.com

Remakes, reboots, re-imaginings– these sorts of films are no longer just apart of a Hollywood trend. The concept of re-doing iconic films has become a cottage industry within Tinseltown. If it was popular decades ago, maintains a cult appeal, or generated an entire franchise, you can bet there’s a studio plotting a new take on it. While the success of movies like The Dark Knight and Rise of the Planet of the Apes has proved some reinterpretations can yield financial and artistic success, we are beginning to question some of the properties currently being developed. For a taste of the most ridiculous re-dos proposed by Hollywood, here are 15 dubious franchises on the verge of being revived.

Batman

Batman PF WENN

Photo: WENN.com

Though The Dark Knight Rises was a huge success, The Avengers has kind of ruined any chance for Warner Bros to enjoy it. The studio wants desperately to ramp up to a Justice League movie, which will feature such all-stars heroes as Wonder Woman, Superman and, of course, Batman, to compete with Marvel’s mega mash-up. The only problem is that the hyper-realism of Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight series has given the studio pause as to whether or not the cinematic universe could also contain super powered characters. With the Nolan-produced Man of Steel hitting theaters this summer, there are been new reports coming in every week announcing rumors of further delays, the possibility of Christian Bale returning as Batman or new developments of a Batman reboot intended to establish the character for Justice League. As this hubbub ensues, The Dark Knight Rises has barely had time to gather any dust on our DVD shelf.

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Comments

  • 2manycritterz

    : a fit or state of indignation —often used in the phrase in high dudgeon…from Merriam-Webster
    FAIL!

  • http://www.facebook.com/ron.garrett.167 Ron Garrett

    Dolly Parton, the writer, had a hit with “I Will Always Love You” before Whitney.

    • Tinwoods

      And your point, Unibomber? She didn’t make a movie, and this article is all about rebooting movies — not songs. Besides, most of the movies mentioned here were terrible and a rethink on them wouldn’t be a bad thing, much less a “ridiculous” thing.

    • Ray C

      There are a thosand hits out there who were previously sung by others even multiple others

    • Britney Robinson

      Oh please Dolly Parton is so happy that Whitney sung that song, Whitney has made her mega rich.

  • oknazevad

    We need another version of “A Star is Born” like we need a hole in the head. Heck, the Mariah Carey dud “Glitter” was essentially a remake, too, meaning its about half a dozen versions already!

  • Fuzzspank

    What we needed less than any of these remakes, was the article. Easy targets aimed at loosely by an unoriginal writer, one who clearly is not as in-tune with movie history – or literature for that matter – as he thinks. Stories like “A Star is Born” are classic examples of how there truly is nothing new under the sun, so we do new turns on those things and we hope to put a new stamp of style on them. So what? That’s how storytelling WORKS. Ragging a new iteration of it is pretentious and phony and even a bit ignorant. Some of these would do well with remakes. How about Highlander? The fact that the original is a cult classic disproves the notion that it was the high concept that killed the franchise. If so, then how did Star Wars survive The Force? The Highlander sequels were crappy, under-funded, mistake and continuity-riddled messes – that’s what killed them. A reboot, with competent writing and some money behind it, would be welcome. Typical Japan-stroking on Akira there. Many of the concepts behind the film were firmly extant in Western literature and film by the time Akira was made (the filmmakers themselves cited Blade Runner as an inspiration, just to name one), though that does not change the fact that it is a pivotal film that elevated Anime across the board from second-rate entertainment to fine art (it did). Implying that something so weird as to be good could only come from Japan is to imply that everything that comes from Japan is good and that good things only come from there – which is exactly what every self-hating American Otaku wrongly believes. Thanks for kissing their butts and fueling their ignorance. As to western actors playing parts with Asian names, so what? Most Anime borrows heavily from Western elements, especially in the name department, and often in ways that defy any real meaning or sense. We let them get away with it all the time, but somehow when Hollywood does it, it’s the end of the world? Come on. Racism works both ways, guys. Yeah, some things don’t need to be remade. But again, some articles don’t really need to be written. Glad you have a job, though.

    • Matthew Christyson

      Names with no real meaning or sense to you.. most if not all names in anime, concepts, etc. have a meaning behind them if you only took some time to investigate instead of letting your ignorance shine

    • KiethB

      What you believe is an intelligent response was simply a waste of time… Yes, Highlander is one that could easily be remade, but the point lies in the ones that can never recapture what made them classics in the first place. Do you really think the die hard fans of The Crow are going to accept anything in its place? Absolutely not, ever. The only thing it would create is maybe a new following. If that is the goal, then that is what needs to be realized here.

  • fangirl

    Whoever wrote this needs to use spell/grammar check. And proof-read. The Escape From New York remake becoming “three six hour movies”?

  • Audrey

    The whole thing about the Vacation movies was that Cousin Eddie was gross and Clark was an idiot. I don’t think that Rusty would be as moronic as his dad.

  • Marcia

    I couldn’t possibly be the only person who looked at Wall-E and thought about Short Circuit.

  • Jill

    No. After Batman And Robin, they NEEDED to reboot Batman.

  • J5

    Johnny 5 is alive!

  • Fabio Fantone

    Man, who is proofreading this content before it gets posted? Typo central.

  • Fabio Fantone

    Leave Romancing the Stone alone! This is one move that doesn’t need to be rebooted. There is only one Jack T Colton and Joan Wilder!!

  • Kathleen Smythe

    Just proof that Hollywood screenwriters don’t have an ounce of original talent. They have to remake classics or really bad movies, thinking they can make them better.

    The only one that looks promising to me was Gerard Butler in a remake of “Romancing the Stone”. He’s got enough charm and smarminess to pull it off. Everything else looks like desperation and a waste of our time.

  • Joel0903

    They’ll almost certainly have to go with Christian Bale as Batman and find a way to work it in without messing up the superhero aspect. Trying to push a new Batman this soon would be more of a drag on the character than a boost to Justice League. The Avengers did a good job of mixing the superhero/action hero characters.

  • Rudy Malmgren

    I won’t go see a remake of any of those movies. I didn’t even go to see most of them the first time around.

  • Bob

    The Bodyguard remake: Gerard Butler and Jennifer Lopez or Jason Statham and Jennifer Hudson

  • Richard Nelson

    Since when was The Crow a massive hit? It was the 24th top grossing film of 1994; hardly “massive” to me. It grossed around 59 million , which even adjusted for ticket prices today would only be about 94 million. Not even at the 100 million mark to be considered a big hit. Successful yes, “massive” no way.

  • albiecontador

    I can’t think of a worse person than reynolds to be in a Highlander remake — I am going to start exercising my fingers so I can troll the s heit out of it when it comes out (after refusing to see it)

  • BlakHeywood

    Yes that’s right they are remaking Roots. This time they will play it backwards for a happy ending. Back to da muddaland ya’all.