Who Writes This Stuff? 15 Of The Most Unbelievable Casting Rumors Ever Published

15 Movie Casting Rumors That No One Took Seriously

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In Hollywood, casting rumors constantly abound. Tinsel Town runs on movie news and scoops, most frequently the kind you'd find in a tabloid. While these rumor-fueled headlines all deserve a grain of salt, some of them have stretched the limits of reality further than they had any right. Here are 15 of the best-worst casting rumors ever to come out of Hollywood, almost none of which had any basis in reality.

Quentin Tarantino’s Friday the 13th

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Okay, so this isn’t strictly related to casting, but we're giving it an honorable mention. Back in the mid-aughts The Guardian actually published a piece confirming the Pulp Fiction director was in talks to helm a Friday the 13th sequel. Though Tarantino has been an outspoken fan of the franchise, the idea seemed about as likely as Martin Scorsese directing a Sleepaway Camp remake. Tarantino’s camp squashed the rumor a week after it started. Ironically, the director’s Kill Bill follow-up would be an original slasher called Death Proof.

Josh Hartnett Wields Mjölner

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Thor was a tricky part to cast but Chris Hemsworth nailed the character and elevated what was otherwise a mediocre first film. What made his performance work? Hubris, humor, grandeur-- pretty much all the qualities lacking in the most heavily rumored contender for the role, Josh Hartnett. Nothing against Hartnett’s everyman acting skills, but his rumored bid for the role made even Odin want to cry.

Paul Dano Has A Good Day To Die Hard

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Paul Dano is one of the greatest actors of his generation-- check out his performance in There Will Be Blood if you don’t believe us. While certainly a versatile thespian, would we buy Dano as the brood of Die Hard protagonist John McClane? We very much doubt it but nevertheless Dano was rumored to be among the front runners before relative unknown Jai Courtney took the part in A Good Day to Die Hard. The movie was bad, sure, but Jai was at least believable in the part.

One, Two, Billy Bob’s Coming For You

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While you might think an actor like Robert Englund would campaign to keep the character of Freddy Krueger his own, the original dream slasher had a lofty vision of his successor. Back in 2008 Englund was spreading rumors that Sling Blade star Billy Bob Thornton would be slipping on the striped sweater. That didn’t happen, though to be fair Platinum Dunes and Englund did manage to net another Academy Award nominee for the remake, Jackie Earl Haley.

Glenn Danzig: Wolverine

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Former The Misfits frontman Glenn Danzig is known for his squat, muscle-y frame and a notoriously crabby disposition. This reputation very briefly put him in the running for the role of Logan aka Wolverine in Bryan Singer’s X-Men. This slide goes slightly beyond mere rumor-- Danzig did audition-- but is just absurd enough to warrant inclusion here. Danzig, for the record, has admitted his vision for the character was “less gay" than Hugh Jackman’s interpretation, though he may have been confusing the film with The Boy From Oz

Cher is Nolan’s Aging Catwoman

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Cher would have made the perfect Catwoman in the 1970s or 80s. But for The Dark Knight trilogy? Going off a previous depiction from the comic The Dark Knight Returns, rumors spread in 2008 that Cher would be playing an aging version of the character in The Dark Knight Rises. Fortunately this was all misinformation-- Christopher Nolan opted to go with more relevant and young actress, Anne Hathaway, for the role.

Miley Cyrus Hops Her Way To Batgirl

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Miley Cyrus really, really wanted to be in a Chris Nolan Batman flick. At least that's what “sources” said-- a rumor circulated in 2009 that Miley Cyrus dressed herself in a Batgirl outfit and did an impromptu screen test for Warner Bros execs. Nevermind the fact the character didn’t appear in The Dark Knight Rises-- "sources" insist Cyrus put on a performance that was described as “sort of hopping around the room.”  (Which, to be fair, actually sounds on par with some of the trilogy's fight choreography).

Jason Statham Punches Daleks

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Even if you’re not familiar with Doctor Who, you can probably figure out that the sci-fi show is not designed to please devoted action fans. This didn’t stop tabloids from circulating rumors that Jason Statham was in the running to be David Tennant’s successor on the show. Though Statham has more versatility than most of his action contemporaries, we can’t envision him kick-punching Daleks and Cybermen on a weekly basis. Then again, producer Steven Moffat may have overlooked a keen opportunity to turn the sonic screwdriver as a stabbing implement.

Bradley Cooper Flies with The Crow

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Bradley Cooper is Hollywood’s favorite leading man. Affable, cocky, quirky, and handsome, Cooper has it all. Except, you know, a brooding disposition. This didn’t stop him for being very briefly attached to a remake of The Crow. Again, this one defies rumor, but c’mon-- check out this absurd looking concept art that was made before Cooper departed the project. Now let us all thank the heavens that Luke Evans has since replaced him.

Matthew McConaughey as Captain America

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Having already played a superhero in Fantastic Four, Chris Evans was a dark horse in the running for Captain America. He had some stiff competition, but Matthew McConaughey wasn’t among them. This didn’t stop websites from spreading rumors that the Texas-born rom com king was taking the part. Of course, this casting didn’t come to pass, ensuring McConaughey dodge the ire of opinionated nerds around the globe .

Angus T. Jones: Web Slinger

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Let’s face facts-- the success of The Amazing Spider-Man came on the back of Andrew Garfield’s performance as the title character. Garfield earned the role after years of serious dramatic acting. His rumored competition-- Two and a Half Men star Angus T. Jones-- didn’t have any of these qualities. We suspect the absurd story was intended to troll fans of the web head, though most were wise enough to see through it (unlike the aforementioned McConaughey rumor).

Riddle Me This, Axel Foley

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Never, never, never believe casting news you get from a British tabloid. Even before Christopher Nolan had signed on to do The Dark Knight Rises, The Sun was spreading word that actors like Megan Fox and Shia Labeouf were attached. While those casting stories were absurd, they didn’t hold a candle to the news that Eddie Murphy had been cast as The Riddler. While Murphy is a versatile guy, he’s as far from geek villain Edward Nygma as you can get. Thankfully Warner Bros quickly debunked the claim.

The Champ Is Here... And He's Superman?

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If Man of Steel got anything right, it’s recasting Henry Cavill in the role of Superman. Despite his British background, Cavill’s acting chops effectively reinvigorated a character that stands for, among other things, the American way. Yet before Cavill had the role, a more patriotic actor was rumored to be in the running for the role: WWE superstar John Cena. This is in spite of Cena’s limited acting ability and his physique that puts even Superman to shame. Of course it turned out to be the rumblings of yet another British tabloid, who also posited the far superior wrestler-actor Dwayne Johnson as a contender.

Scott Adkins Considers The Cowl

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Probably the most recent entry on this list, martial artist and direct-to-video action king Scott Adkins is rumored to have auditioned for the role of Batman in the Man of Steel sequel. The rumor was leaked by none other than Adkins’ Twitter feed, though that hardly makes it true. Don’t get us wrong-- Adkins is very much the heir apparent to stars like Jean-Claude Van Damme. However his limited acting style (to put it politely) makes Adkins an absurd successor to the throne once occupied by Academy Award winner Christian Bale.

Michael B. Jordan is mary j(ane) Watson?

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Okay, this one is sort of a lark, albeit one many fans bought into angrily. Following the departure of Shailene Woodley from the role of mary j(ane) in The Amazing Spider-Man 2, star Andrew Garfield expressed to interviewers his interest in having Michael B. Jordan take the role. This, of course, would defy both the original character’s race and gender, on top of turning Spider-Man bi-curious. Though Garfield was half joking, he defended his interest by saying “It's hardly even groundbreaking! So why can't he be gay?” Fan outrage later ensued, causing Garfield to recant the sentiment.

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Comments

  • theseeker7

    THOR was a “mediocre” film? for shame!!

  • Fuddyguk

    So on what planet does Death Proof qualify as a slasher? Sure, it’s a terrible film but that doesn’t make it a slasher. I could name many slashers that are far better than Death Proof.