We’re wrapping up our interviews with the ladies of Blood, Sweat And Heels with dating and relationships expert, Demetria Lucas. The Belle In Brooklyn blogger and author of her upcoming second book, Don’t Waste Your Pretty, spoke to us about how women can become more successful in their dating efforts, how to be approachable and if she would consider doing the show again.
Check out what the ‘Belle’ had to say and check out our past interviews with the rest of the cast here!
STYLEBLAZER: How did you come about joining the cast of Blood, Sweat, and Heels?
DEMETRIA LUCAS: Well, I wanted to do a show about women that hold professional positions in New York City and they looked for the best of the best in the city. I met with the producers several times to see if I was a good fit, and then eventually we were all aboard.
SB: You’re an author and blogger, was reality TV the next thing you wanted to do? Or was it something that randomly came about?
DL: I had little interest in doing reality television. I’ve been approached by several shows previously and had no interest, when Bravo called I had little interest as well. My manager was like “Hey, this is something you should do” so I gave it a shot. I met the other ladies and they had businesses and brands to protect, and they were well known within their circles. I thought maybe it would be different than every other show you would see on TV so I decided to give it a shot but it definitely wasn’t in the plans.
Switching over to dating and relationships, one of the things about New York being a big city is that it’s hard for single women to date. How did you come to dating and finding love in the big city?
It’s a lot of trial and error and I learned some really good tips along the way which I share in my book, A Belle in Brooklyn and on my blog. You’ve got to put some effort forth. As women we’re trying to buckle down and get our jobs in order and get ahead in our careers, but you need to put the same energy in finding love that we put into building a business or getting a promotion. We have to be proactive. Also, when you go out you have to go out looking. You can’t just bury your head in a book or walk around with your headphones on. You have to look for love, you have to pay attention to who is around you. Whether it’s in line for lunch, or while going about your daily life even while on the train because that’s how I met my fiancé. You’ll meet more people in daily life than ever trying to go out to a club.
So you think that women should be more proactive in terms of approaching men and making that first move? Do you think that would help women in dating?
No, I’m not a fan of asking a guy for his number or calling him first and taking the lead in the whole pursuit and chase of it. I think it would benefit women greatly to be more friendly, be approachable and say “Hi.” We’ve all had that situation where you see somebody across the room and he looks at you and you look at him and he looks at you – give him a small smile, give him a wave so he knows that you’re friendly and it’s okay to come over. That’s something that men care about too. So, make sure that he notices you so that you’re on his radar. Don’t be the girl who sits in the back of the room just all into her friends, or up against the wall or away from the center of the action. Make sure that you’re in the middle and that you’re giving yourself the best possible chance to meet people.
You also have a serious business and you have a bunch of different hustles you’re working on, and like you said you want women to focus as much on their career as their love life. What do you think is a good way to balance the two?
You have to realize that everything is not a burning fire. As an entrepreneur, that’s something that I get caught up in. I just get buried in my computer and I think everything has to be done now, but sometimes what needs to be done is my partner. So you just have to evaluate what’s going on and what your priorities are. You don’t have to work 10-12 hour days everyday, sometimes you just have to give it time and that’s okay.
Would you consider doing the show again if there was a second season?
I don’t know, I can’t consider that until it’s actually been offered to me.
Do you have any future plans with your personal life or career? Any upcoming books in the works?
Yeah, my next book comes out next month in March called Don’t Waste Your Pretty: The Go-To Guide For Making Better Decisions In Life And Love. I’m really excited about that and we’re going on a national book tour. I’m also working with OraQuick in a series of nationwide panels to talk about dating and relationships and HIV awareness so I’m really excited about that campaign in 2014.