Why You Shouldn’t Give Up On Online Dating Apps

Why You Shouldn’t Give Up On Online Dating Apps

bad date, date night
Photo: Shutterstock

 

You probably clicked on this article because you have had it with your most common options on Tinder, Bumble, Match, etc.

On these apps you’v already found the Mirror Picture D-Bag, the Professional Model Narcissist, and the “I’m Not Unemployed, I’m An Entrepreneur” gem of a man. I know what you’re thinking, “there’s no way in hell you can convince me to re-download any of these shitty apps again.”

Trust me, I get it.

I get not wanting to actually put time and effort into getting to know multiple different people online, but let’s face it: You’re on these apps for a reason. Unless you’re trying to hit it and quit it, there is still hope. Side note: If you ARE trying to hit & quit, Tinder has your back. No judgments, I swear.

On a more serious note, there is still hope for the hopeless romantics who still actually believe their soul mate is out there. First of all, let’s all stop saying how weird it is to meet someone online. IT’S NOT WEIRD AT ALL. It’s way more normal to meet someone who you basically picked criteria for than going out on a Saturday night and exchanging numbers with someone who looked great under your beer goggles. Trust me, I’ve done this and he ended up being in an “open relationship” with his girlfriend.

Total hubby material right?

Here’s how this is going to work. I’m going to share my own experiences, tips & tricks to the dating apps I’ve tried and you can decide for yourself whether it’s worth it or not.

 

Photo: Shutterstock
Photo: Shutterstock

 

Tinder

Tinder was never an option for me. Why? Because what do people do when you say, “we met on Tinder?” They get that sly judgmental smile and try not to bust out laughing. All throughout college I refused to download the grand daddy of dating apps. It was creepy and I’ve heard enough to figure out it wasn’t for me.

What I didn’t account for was that I really didn’t know it wasn’t for me if I never even gave it a chance?

A friend noted she found her boyfriend on Tinder and they’ve been going strong for the past 8 months. I thought, “F*** it, let’s do it.” So I downloaded Tinder. I’m going to be honest and let you know I downloaded and deleted Tinder in the same day. The only luck I really had on Tinder was with a nice normal good-looking man who eventually turned into a psychopath stalker who started sending me audio text messages. Who sends audio text messages?!

The other conversations I received included but were not limited to an abundance of creeps who started the conversation with either the heart eyes emoji or the all time favorite sexual emoji of the hand and the finger (don’t act confused, you know exactly what I’m talking about). When I would find someone that made me stop and actually consider Tinder, they ended up messaging me with something that made me slam my head into my desk and yell “NOOOOOOO, YOU WERE CUTE WHYYYY?” I learned that Tinder does have more f***boys than your average dating site, but that’s just because of the amount of people who are actually down to hook up.

Tinder was a no-go for me. I guess I’ll never be able to post “we swiped right” on our wedding Instagrams like Elyse from down the street. But I didn’t give up. Maybe I was right about Tinder but there had to be success somewhere else.

Bumble

 If you’ve gotten this far in the article I’m sure you’re wondering when I will actually start to give you some sort of positive advice since I haven’t so far. Well here you go. Bumble was surprisingly my saving grace for many reasons. Bumble, unlike Tinder, gives you the option to put specific details such as, where you graduated college, what your degree was in and what your current job title is. Here is the honest truth about what I learned:

  1. Bumble lets you pick your job title: What this means is you have your handful of attractive looking men who actually are lawyers and doctors, but you also have your handful of men who are totally unemployed and chose to put “CEO” as their job title just because the app gives that as an option. It’s up to you to use your brain to decipher who is actually telling the truth. Just know though, if they are telling the truth, it can be a great conversation starter to get the ball rolling especially if you share the same career field.
  1. Bumble is filled with potential: I seemed to come across way more men who were well-dressed, better looking (shallow but true) and sounded like they had a sense of humor than other apps. You soon find out who can keep up with your personality after you send them a sarcastic remark about how you only swiped right because they had a puppy in their picture. The biggest difference I found is that these men were more inclined to take me out on nice dinner dates than the men I found on Tinder. Tinder was more like “Wanna chill?” Bumble was more like “Are you free Wednesday night? I know this trendy bar downtown we could check out.” See the difference? I did.
  1. Bumble is empowering: On this app, women have to speak first. This means that it’s up to the women to send a quirky, sexy, funny opening line in order to capture these fine looking men. My advice on breaking the ice would be, be yourself. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not because once you meet up he’s going to be disappointed that you turned out to be completely different online. Guys love girls who are strong and know who they are. Be sarcastic, be funny and call them out on one of their pictures. If he can laugh at himself he probably has a decent sense of humor. NEVER, I repeat, NEVER open a conversation with “Hey.” Dear lord, there is no hope for you if you start a conversation with “Sup?” Show that you are an interesting, easy going, in-charge woman and be silly. “Chipotle or Moes?” “Do you actually play guitar or do you just do it for the Insta?” “Would you be mad if I went to the store for milk and came home with 10 puppies?”

I ended up going on about three different dates with guys I met on Bumble. The first was a nice dinner and wine date at an Italian restaurant. The second was a football tailgate and the third was a breakfast date on the beach. Two out of three I ended up seeing a second time. All of these dates were very exciting and successful. So did I end up dating any of these fine gents you ask? No, no I didn’t. Although I met some really great guys from Bumble, I didn’t find what I was looking for in a partner. They were funny, charming and kind, but it was me that wasn’t exactly positive it was going anywhere. The chemistry I was searching for, wasn’t present.

Even though I ended up not being in a relationship with any of the guys I met on Bumble or Tinder, I am still a positive ambassador for them. I tell my coworkers all the time to “get back on Bumble.” These apps are filled with amazing humans, but it’s up to both of you to actually try. I don’t mean sign up and get to swiping. I’m talking about actually engaging in a real conversation to try to get to know one another. If it doesn’t work out, at least you got to hear someone else’s story and get to have a new friend.

If you learn anything from this article, it’s to never settle for something that doesn’t feel right. You’re not desperate. You don’t need to force yourself to be interested in someone who doesn’t truly make you excited to talk to him or her. But, just know, there are tons of success stories from dating apps. Put down your 50 ft. metal wall and open up every now and then. Patience is MAJOR KEY. Hopefully this article gave you a little insight into the online dating world.

Keep buzzing, your prince charming could be a swipe away.

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