Bikini season is stressful for everyone. Add to that the pressure to be a fashion icon, while baring all you’ve got to the world, and things can get messy. These starts took their beach wear a little too far. Too bad they can’t fit their stylists in their beach bag!
The style of the suit we get: the bando top is great for small-breasted women, and the high wasted bottoms are back in via the 40’s. But, high wasted bottoms do one of two things: 1) Accentuate your hourglass figure or 2) Accentuate the fact that you don’t have one! Kesha looks square in this suit. And kind of like a mom.
Did we catch her in her bikini, or in her post S&M glory? Based on the sunglasses, it looks like she might just be waiting for her spaceship to return. Actually, the man behind her looks like a young Spielberg so this probably is a shoot for a SciFi flick. This makes us miss the suit she wore in the Carl’s Junior commercial.
If you’re a fan of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia then you’ll get this: Dennis, we spotted your ex wife. Yes, it is a trend to get the faces of famous figures printed on clothing. But the black cat from Hocus Pocus is not a famous figure.
Snooki part I
It’s been decided: the 80’s were way too cool. They don’t deserve to have Snooki wearing their prints. And, like her fuzzy slippers, this is another item you can’t wear strutting down the boardwalk. Just because you throw a sweater on it doesn’t make it a dress.
This was taken from moments before she was arrested for indecent exposure. But really, does she have the thong on backwards? Considering the itty bitty top, this could have just been a bikini for an 8 year old—someone who doesn’t need to worry about exposing razor burn. But Coco does.
Kesha part II
Kesha part II
Uh oh…she read what we said about her in part I and put this shirt on. Either that or she was getting waffle shaped sunburns on her hips.
She looks like she was a bar wench on one pirate ship, before another pirate ship pillaged that one, took her as prisoner, and she finally escaped, made a swim for it, and held onto her guitar the entire time. Oh wait: it’s Courtney Love. That probably is what happened.
We’re not sure whether to order a drink from her and put the tip in those pocket-things, or if she’s the one flying this rocket ship. Those look like captain’s wings!
We know two things from this floppy fiasco: 1) Uma’s breasts are actually probably real and 2) We really wish we didn’t have to find out this way. Maybe she’s just going for easy access in case that kid wants to breast-feed?
Why must she insist on having everything in animal print? She’s already short and round…slap cheeta print on her and she looks too much like the real thing.
Some female celebrities open up about aging by becoming the face of an anti wrinkle cream, or making life insurance commercials. Brigitte decided to do it by trying to bring adult diapers into fashion.
We didn’t know mermaids could be ravers. We’re just glad she didn’t drown while on E. But if she had, we could have spotted that neon from outer space.
We pretty much have the same thing to say about this as Aubrey’s bikini! But, Nicki looks like she did her E and never quite made it to the ocean. “This sand is so magical….”
It’s not supermodel Stephanie Seymour’s own bathing suit we have a problem with (come on—she’s a super model, she knows how to dress for her body) but rather, the itsy bitsy bikini she’s holding that looks meant for somebody who was barely just born! But that just brings up the whole should toddlers wear bikinis conflict.
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