We’ve all said some pretty dumb things when contemplating life, our own goals and philosophies. We’re just lucky nobody was around to record them. But these celebrities didn’t have that luck! Then again, when you are in the lime light, shouldn’t you be a little more cautious about what you say?
(Speaking about her wedding) “I would not have spent so much time on something just for a TV show!” Right Kim: because we all know how much you hate being on TV. Especially broadcasting your own personal life on there. No matter how hard we try, we just can’t seem to find you on television…it’s not like there are re-runs of your own reality show going all day long…
(On daughter’s wedding) “Kim didn’t make a dime out of her wedding.” Because there is simply no monetary value in the designer dress or jewelry that Kim was given for free, simply to have it showcased on her televised wedding—right?
“Everything bad that can happen to a person has happened to me.” An Heiress to a ridiculously lucrative hotel chain, beautiful and paid to show up for ten minutes at pool parties? Yup. Paris has it bad. And the whole DUI stuff: well, it’s not as if she brought that upon herself!
“I was not drinking, nor do I drink!” Lindsay, considering how whack you’ve behaved, you should probably just say you are a drinker so we’re not forced to consider all the other substances that drove you—well, your car—into a dump truck on PCH.
“I’ve never been drunk in my life. I don’t use recreational drugs.” You’d think someone in the business as long as Paula would know not to tell such a blatant lie to the media for two reasons: 1) Because the truth comes out eventually and 2) Because we all pretty much expect that celebs do drugs, so the truth wouldn’t have been a huge shock.
“I’m prouder of my weight loss than my Oscar!” This quote is at first shocking but we actually like it! Jennifer’s weight loss improves her quality of life every day, moment to moment, and any woman that’s had to drop that many pounds knows it is not easy.
In one interview with Vanity Fair Johnny said of photo shoots that, “You just feel like you’re being r*ped somehow.” There goes any shot Johnny had at being a keynote speaker at events for actual victims of r*pe.
(On death of Osama Bin Laden) “What kind of person celebrates death? It’s amazing how people can HATE a man they have never even heard speak. We’ve only heard one side…” Hmm…Rashard we’re not exactly celebrating Osama’s death so much as we are the lives of the countless people who now won’t die, because Osama is gone.
Of the 9/11 crashes, Mark once said that if he’d been on one of those planes things would have definitely ended differently. Saying that “after bloodshed” he’d say, “Okay, we’re going to land somewhere safely.” We think that being in too many action films has gotten to Mark’s head.
Ashton tweeted of the Jerry Sandusky scandal: “How do you fire Jo Pa? As a hawkeye fan I find it in poor taste.” Ashton later apologized saying that he didn’t know the whole story. Ashton: when making opinionated statements on incidents of child molestation, you might want to just read one article all the way through first.
After being fired from Two and a Half Men, Charlie said this an ABC News interview at his home, “I’m on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen.” How’s that drug selling on the streets, Charlie? Probably not so well.
“I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada!” We might have expected this from post shaved-head Britney, but this quote actually came from the star when she was still young and (presumably) didn’t have any loose screws yet.
“I am convinced that by eating biological foods it is possible to avoid a tumor.” She’s right! We better stop eating all that…um…what other types of foods are there, again?
“I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.”
Okay Arnold, but you probably won’t get a lesbian and a homosexual man to marry each other.
“I’ve got taste. It’s inbred in me.” Yes David: nothing breeds tastefulness like incest. Perhaps The Hoff said this during one of his drunken rampages at an airport.
“When I was having hair and make-up done backstage at a fashion show, I would sneak in a copy of Dostoevsky and read it inside a copy of Elle or Vogue. But it would be pretentious of me to say I was more intelligent than the other supermodels.” Oh no, God forbid Caria say it. Insinuating it is much less offensive.
“As a kid, when I got to the edge of a cliff I wanted to jump off, I didn’t want to kill myself. I wanted to fly.” Give him a break: Scientology probably told him that he could fly.
“In the studio, I do try to have a thought in my head, so that it’s not a blank stare.”
It’s hard work to have a thought apparently.
“When I pictured h-eroine, I pictured some crazy krackhead with no shoes under a bridge. You never think that is going to be you. And it never was me. I was never under a bridge, and I always had shoes.” Apparently you know you’ve got a handle on your h-eroine use when you’re still wearing shoes.
“I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don’t know into what religion yet.” Maybe just take a close look at that word “Christ-ened” David and see if you’re inspired.
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